You don’t need a reason.
Everyone thinks when you quit drinking there is some major meltdown, fracas, arrest, rehab or “a-ha” moment. It’s not always like that…
For the first 6 months I was sober I dreaded going anywhere there was booze. I dreaded being asked the questions that started with: “Why?” and “How Come?” I figured I’d rather be a recluse than answer those questions for the 4,000th time. I don’t think I even knew what the answer was myself. Still don’t.
But guess what? You don’t need a reason to get sober anymore than you need a reason to get drunk. It’s that simple.
These days the only thing people say to me is “WOW you’re really still doing the ‘no-drinking’ thing? I can’t believe that. I could never do that during this pandemic (or insert other horrible 2020 thing here).”
But guess what? You can.
You can actually do whatever you want.
Hell, I even had one dude swear up and down that he saw me drinking at a Christmas party at my house last year. Nope. Only Key Lime Lacroix water baby! Ho Ho Ho 🎅🏼. Social boozing is so deeply ingrained into the fabric of society and some people’s decades long perception of drunk Andy, that in an alternate universe that Andy is still stomping around like a decrepit middle-aged dinosaur, tripping over curbs and passing out in the bushes for fun.
Last weekend I had an awful day at work, one of the worst I’ve had all year (and there’s been plenty of those where I work). It was one of those days where you say to yourself: “Self, when it’s all said and done, I bet the anxiety and stress of that day took a whole fucking year off my life”. For the first time in nearly a year, I actually thought about stopping at a liquor store on the way home. I even went so far as to make a few jokes about it during my shift. A co-worker (who has also been working on sobriety) came by afterwards, took one look and me, and simply said 3 words. “Don’t do it”.
Guest what? I still left and drove by the liquor store on the way home. I didn’t turn in though, or even slow down. I just cranked up my radio and kept driving. Angry driving. Crush the steering wheel with your boney old man hands driving. White knuckling it, like the many times I drove home drunk from concerts in Minneapolis fearing I’d hit a deer, or worse, be pulled over by the one cop in Victoria, MN (Pop. 7,345).
I have no answers. I have nothing. Every day I am a blank slate. All I can say to anyone who’s going through it is to keep fucking going. Just go. Don’t even think. Keep moving.
Today is the 2 year anniversary of the time I decided to stop drinking for 30 days for something called “Sober October”. I had no clue what I was doing and didn’t care, I was just going to do it. Then I just kept going day after day after day… and here I am 2 years later.
If anybody I’m connected with on here or any other social media platform needs to talk about anything at anytime, please message me. I’m happy to listen. Many have listened to me this year and for that I am grateful.